dys·func·tion /dɪsˈfʌŋkʃən/ [dis-fuhngk-shuhn]–noun
1. Medicine/Medical . malfunctioning, as of an organ or structure of the body. 2. any malfunctioning part or element: the dysfunctions of the country's economy. 3. Sociology . a consequence of a social practice or behavior pattern that undermines the stability of a social system.

Monday, January 31, 2011

My Second Car

Take a minute and recall The Final Ride that My First Car made...

We made it all the way to my street and only had to push it about ten houses to my driveway.

Pushing, pushing, pushing  - with the occassional dash to the steering wheel to adjust - made us quite the spectacle.

"Hey! You need a new car?" One of our neighbours yelled at us from his driveway.

"Yeah, hahaha, she died alright." I joked back.

"$500, I'll sell you mine."


"What really?"

"Yeah, you interested?"

"Give me a second to put this heap in my driveway...I'll be right back."

After I parked my first car I jaunted back to this man's house to look at his car.

There sat a light blue 1991 Chevrolet Cavalier.

I really can't draw cars.

There were a few (see: crap-ton) rust spots, it was only a 2-door, and he was kind enough to mention the hole in the trunk...but it was $500...certified and E-tested...and my first car had just died.


So I increased the limit on my Visa, took out $500 and paid the man.

The car shop where he worked did the safety test. It was *wink* *wink* safe, but there were a lot of things close to not safe.

This covered their butts (supposedly) while allowing me to not have to pay for necessary repairs.

Poor Score!

* * *

Six thirty in the morning.

Time to drive Scout to work, like every other day.

What a nice cold morning.

The frost on the windshield is fantastic!

It would be even more fantastic if there was a way for me to get it off.

Unfortunately the heater didn't work in the car...that meant no defrosting.

Illegal? I'm going to guess yes, but every morning I would roll my window all the way down; lean my head out to see; and drive.

* * *

The transmission started to die.

You know it's never a good sign when you have to manually shift an automatic car.

The occassional stall, but the damn thing still drove.

I had to get to work every day to pay rent...forget about car repairs.

* * *

We were driving the fourty-five minutes to go visit my Dad.

The car was acting unusually...sluggish...

It wouldn't accelerate past 80km/hr.



The way home was worse.

It wouldn't go past 60km/hr.

It appears (after the fact) that the emergency brake somehow engaged (I don't use it for regular parking) and wouldn't disengage, and promptly stayed set until the cable snapped.



On this lovely journey home - post cable snap - the car's exhaust system began to overheat.

Overheat may be an understatement.

The exhaust system became so hot that the steel lit up bright red and melted.


The molten pieces of steel then dropped off my car and splashed on to the road as I drove on unaware.

Unaware, until a kind motorist stopped me and pointed out the 8 foot tail of sparks I was leaving in my wake.

The exhaust system then proceeded to try and set my interior on fire.


After abandoning the car in a parking lot near the highway, I returned with my neighbour (car-buff) the following day.

The car ran perfectly.

* * *

Guess who's pregnant?

An unreliable, two door crap-heap doesn't seem like a good purchase any more.

The credit card is once again increased, and a budget set out for a new vehicle.

The stipulation being: sell this one first!

A friend of the upstairs neighbour's bought it.

For $300.

I remember leaving for work the following day and having them stop me.

"Hey! The heater's not working, is it broken?"

"Hm? Oh, I don't know. I never drove it in the winter."


Stock Investing and Trading said...

Hello~! Lol funnny story with the car...I never bought a used car so I don't know ;p. For some reason our family likes to buy new cars for long long time...like 10 years+

I have followed your blog.
Could you follow mine too please at:
SkyBlueTrading Blog

I currently have a competition of stock price guessing where I will give the winners $50.00 for winning the competition. Check it out!


dys·func·tion said...

@Stock Investing and Trading: thanks for your comment about my story! My family has never been able to afford nice/new cars, so I was not expecting much more for myself (especially not for my first couple of cars).

Also,thanks for the invite to your blog, but the stock market isn't really my thing. Keep on trucking though, I'm sure you'll find tons of followers who are in to the market.

ironman1987 said...

I have two suggestions for you:

#1 Get a car that has been built in Japan.
#2 Don't buy cars from your neighbour/parents(you can't trust them).

Hope this helps with your next car purchase :)

dys·func·tion said...

@ironman1987: The stories aren't done yet... but when your budget is as low as mine is, I can't afford to be that picky yet :P

Laurence Modithre said...

Haha, okay, that was hilarious. It's a big shame that your second (and used) car wasn't a fun experience, but it's more or less a lesson in life, no? At least now you could tell a story about it to amuse others.

dys·func·tion said...

@Laurence Modithre: I'm glad you enjoyed it! Once it's in the past, it's only purpose is to amuse others. I love to storytell, and this is just fuel for my fire.