My Lack of Girliness

I finally made it to the Giftcard Store.



The trick is: go in the afternoon.



I recieved this giftcard as a Christmas present (I am planning on not mentioning too many Christmas gifts or where they came from because I believe that it is rude) and I am very grateful.

It was a very kind and generous gift and I enjoy the items that I got with it.

However! The giftcard was for a... girly store...and I am not very girly.... at all.


o_o


My non-girliness was more than affirmed when I went out to this store to pick out my purchases.


SIDE NOTE: I have pretty bad shopping anxiety. I have been working for the past two years to love myself more for the person that I am, and when I go shopping (specifically clothes shopping) I tend to have panic attacks because it shakes the ground. I become unsure of who and what I am, who and what I am trying to become, and of what makes my body look good/bad/who cares. I get very tight chested, pulse increases, and I become twitchy and irritable.
Guess what happened within two minutes of entering the store?


Boyfriend dropped me off at Giftcard Store and went to pick up his shoes. I was confronted with rows and displays of cute, girly clothes, jewellery and accessories. There were a lot of cute and fun things, and I tried to pick some of the jewellery out. I started picking out stuff that would look good (let's be honest) on my best friend because I often envy admire the way she looks.

After I had wandered around tight chested for almost an hour picking things out, I stopped in front of a mirror and began holding things in front of me to see how they looked.

I almost cried.

Everything was nice, but nothing was me.

I had even cut myself on one of these hip bracelets.



I started putting things back.



I had originally decided that I was going to buy new earrings at this store. I have a nickle allergy and my ears are the worst for it, so I have to buy sensitive type earrings - or nickle free earrings.

I looked for the sensitive earrings section for twenty minutes before I gave up and asked for help. They had a selection of about 7...6 of which were big hoops when I was looking for studs.



Picture from here



I bought the only pack of sensitive studs in the store. Wooooo!



After about an hour Boyfriend came back to get me and I forced him to help me shop.

I sped through the rest of my giftcard and got some awesome things! Other than the earrings, I got: toe rings, two wallets, a scarf, two bras, a headband, hair clips, a ring, and ankle socks (which I've never owned before).




Picture from here


I am really happy with everything that I got, I would just be one thousand times happier if I could shop without having panic attacks.



O_o








Yeah, that'd be awesome.