dys·func·tion /dɪsˈfʌŋkʃən/ [dis-fuhngk-shuhn]–noun
1. Medicine/Medical . malfunctioning, as of an organ or structure of the body. 2. any malfunctioning part or element: the dysfunctions of the country's economy. 3. Sociology . a consequence of a social practice or behavior pattern that undermines the stability of a social system.

Wednesday, August 31, 2011

Keeper League

Last year was my first year watching/following/enjoying hockey.

When I was a wee sprout no one wanted to teach me anything about hockey, so I deflected it in my teenage years by feining disinterest. I really was interested, but I hated asking someone a question about it and getting the "uh...are you for real?" face.

It was awful.

Luckily, Boyfriend has a "of course I'll explain things to you! How would you know these things if no one has ever taught you before?" face; which is much more pleasant than all the other faces I've recieved. Along with watching the hockey games together, and having him explain all of the rules to me, he also asked me if I wanted to create a free account and play some Yahoo Fantasy Hockey with him.

It was so much fun! I'm still a pretty big n00b, and was too timid to trade any of my players last year (I even kept a few that I was angry with because of my loyalty issues) but I think I'll be able to make bigger strides this year.

Boyfriend and I have started a Keeper league in Yahoo, that allows each person to keep their players (most of them at least) from year to year, season to season, and build a successful team over several years.

Boyfriend has set up the Yahoo account and we are prepping everything for the upcoming season BUT we are looking for interested people to participate. This league goes beyond the normal Yahoo Fantasy Hockey leagues, it is much more in depth, has its own website elsewhere on the interwebs, and has additional levels of play (such as signing your players to 1,2,3 or even a 5 year contract), news, and 8 draft picks each season.

These multiple levels of awesomeness and play require that all the participants be active in their teams; building, dressing, and benching them as appropriate. Do the participants have to be competitive? No. As long as they are making the effort to play their teams, they don't need to smack-talk each other (I'm hilarious when I smack-talk) or become cut throat. Manage your team, and let the players work for you.

I am so super excited about this league. About being able to draft, build my team, sign them to contracts, trade, release, *pant pant* and do anything I can to build an amazing team in the years to come!

And so, loyal readers, if any of you happen to love hockey and would like to join OUR EpicFantasyHockeyLeagueOfWin-ness then send me an email at atasteofdysfunction@hotmail.ca


Check out Yahoo.com and click through to Fantasy Hockey to read their rules and see how the first draft and stat-tracking will be done.

Thursday, August 25, 2011

I Kicked A Mouse

Yepp. The awesomeness of that post title? Pure fact.

Remember Drizzle? You may remember my furry little house mouse from: Magical Mouse Fairy, one line in Fruity Whirls, and his namesake posts Super Drizzle and Super Drizzle Returns.

He met with his end when faced with a rat trap (much bigger than a mouse trap) which attempted to sever a limb, and then he dragged himself back into his mouse hole.

We haven't seen whisker or tail of him since. That was months ago.

A week ago we met our newest addition: Zipper!

Now, I'm no expert on mice, but I'm fairly confident that this is not Drizzle, they look similar, but I see differences. Also, Zipper is much faster than Drizzle was, and he is significantly less cocky.

What I like to think happened was that Drizzle dragged his mangled body home, and his wife and children nursed him back to health. His disability prevents him from leaving the home to forage for food, so he trained his children (specifically Zipper) in the way of the ninja, so that with the speed and stealth of a ninja he will be able to provide food for the whole family.

"You are learning well, Grasshopper."

Last night there was a massive thunderstorm. After I sat at the window in the dark watching the thunder, lightning, and pouring rain for a while; I decided to use the washroom and crawl into bed. I left the light out and relied on my night vision and knowledge of toilet location for my pre-bed-pee. I took two steps inside the washroom and kicked something small and soft.

"WTF?!? Was that a mouse?!" I thought, and hastily turned on the light. My inspection of the bathmat showed Splat's hairbrush as the only item on the ground. Sitting on the toilet I thought to myself how odd it was that the hairbrush felt so soft and full of innards when I kicked it, when lo and behold Zipper raced across the room at speeds unimaginable, came within 12 inches of my feet, zipped under the cabinet, behind the sink, and (I'm assuming) entered the area behind the vent to return to his house.

"JESUS HOLY F%*&ING KRIES ZIPPER!!!" I yelled, "You scared the ever-loving sh#% out of me!! Argh!"

Then I tried to calm down enough to sleep, and managed to hear him 'talking' to another mouse.


"And I was cleaning myself and this crazy b#$%^ walked right in and KICKED ME! Can you believe that?"

Monday, August 22, 2011

I Hope Mine's A Football

Pop Tarts are awesome.

They were a kind of forbidden fruit when I was a child, my parents would never 'buy that crap' which means that I am forced to buy them WHENEVER they're on sale now and devour them with the freedom that being an adult brings.

Don't get me wrong...I wouldn't feed that crap to my kids.

Remember when I posted about how crappy this apartment is?

So Landlord has decided that all of the toilet problems in the pit-hole of an apartment are caused by my use of tampons. After throwing a temper tantrum and cursing, angry texting me, arguing with me in my own home, and giving me a pleasant ultimatum; it has been determined that I have temporarily switched to pads.

Oh, and then I determined that I'm moving out.

Image from here.


The best part of this decision to move is that I already have another place to go.

With everything all lined up, and a lease that is eagerly awaiting my signature, we have given notice to LaLandlordPoopyHeadFace and I have already packed over ten boxes.

I excite easily.

My new house is going to have awesome amounts of epicness and happiness and I am so super excited it's ridiculous.

Top Five Best Things About My New House

1. It is not in the Ghetto

2. It has a backyard! Eeeeeeeee!

3. The girls are in a bedroom that has it's own door and is not in my room!

4. It comes with an oven.

5. There's a laundry room and a line for drying clothes outside in the summer.

So, I am going to be busy. I'm quite sure that you will all continue to exist without me, but I thought it would be polite to let you know.


Thursday, August 4, 2011

I Want This Baby Carrier

The last time I had a baby carrier was when Shake'n'Bake was a wee tiny baby, and I had to creep out at night and pick up bottles for food.

Since then, a baby carrier hasn't really been in the budget (or at the top of my priority list), so I've been flexing my mom-pipes and carrying her when there isn't a stroller or shopping cart available.

Sometimes it's just better to pick her up and hold her anyways.

I follow a blog called Mama B that is currently giving away an ERGObaby Carrier.

Click on photo to go to ERGObaby's site.

Yeah, it looks awesome.

So I have entered Mama B's raffle, and if you want this awesome baby carrier (or if you know me personally and want to enter, then win, then give it to me) head on over to Mama B's site right now to read her post and the entry methods.

Do it.

And when you're over there, if you like giveaways, reviews on baby products, or super awesome blogs; consider following her!

Click on the button to go to Mama B's blog!

Monday, August 1, 2011

WowButter - A Review

Back in June, Boyfriend and I took the kids to a fair. Whilst touring the various tents with farm animals and information displays provided within, we noticed a lone table with teeny tiny packets of free something on them. Of course, we beelined straight for it (free is a word that courses through my veins with awesomeness).

Picture from here.

Imagine my surprise when I read the pamphlet and discovered that I could feed this to my toddlers right then and there.

WowButter is a PEANUT-FREE, soy, peanut-butter replacement. And the amazing thing is that it tastes almost identical to peanut butter.

Peanut butter connoisseurs will notice a difference, there is a slight discrepency in texture, but the pros far outweight a minimal texture difference. I can only imagine how amazing this must be for someone who has a peanut allergy, to be able to join in on some of the cultural staples of North America. To, potentially, have a peanut butter and jam sandwich for the first time ever. Ants on a log; peanut butter cookies; a spoonful of delicious-protein filled-comfort food.

I am blown away by the genuine service that the founders/creators of WowButter have done.

I am able to make my 3 year old and my 1 year old soy butter and jam sandwiches, and something so close to the peanut butter classic would not have been available to me before this.

The website: WowButter.com has recipes listed for their product as well. I have yet to try to bake anything with it, but I am looking forward to attempting a Soy Butter Cookie (since I am such a fan of the traditional peanut butter ones).

If you are a US resident, then you have the option of buying WowButter from Amazon.com, or PeanutFreePlanet.com, or from one of the many local retailers that carry it. If you are a Canadian resident, the online options aren't available (yet? Oh, please make it available to buy online in Canada), but you can purchase WowButter from several different retailers. Here is a complete list from WowButter's website.

WowButter is currently available in smooth and crunchy (like peanut butters), and I have only tried the smooth thus far, but it is delicious. As soon as Boyfriend and I finish our old container of peanut butter, the entire family will switch to WowButter (I only have it for the kids so far) to use for our normal peanut buttering needs. I am excited to try the crunchy version, as I was quite the crunchy peanut butter lover when I was a child.

Thank you WowButter, for providing a safe and affordable alternative to peanut butter.

If you'd like to send me free jars, I would not object. Just email me: atasteofdysfunction@hotmail.ca
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