dys·func·tion /dɪsˈfʌŋkʃən/ [dis-fuhngk-shuhn]–noun
1. Medicine/Medical . malfunctioning, as of an organ or structure of the body. 2. any malfunctioning part or element: the dysfunctions of the country's economy. 3. Sociology . a consequence of a social practice or behavior pattern that undermines the stability of a social system.

Friday, April 8, 2011



First, the tortellini was soft in the freezer.

Boyfriend and I berated ourselves for leaving the freezer door ajar. We promised to be more diligent, after all there was meat in the freezer and we didn't want it to spoil.

Next came the bread. Nearly defrosted when I pulled it out.

I turned up the cold on the dial for the freezer...perhaps the milk had knocked it down to warmer or something.

Then came the day when the ice was melted. All of the small meats were defrosted, any and everything bread based was thawed, it was awful. Even the inside walls of the freezer weren't cold.

We cooked all of the sausages that we had, ate them on thawed buns. Other meat was moved to the fridge for timely consumption, and the remaining breads, vegetables, and whole chicken were moved to the chest freezer upstairs.

I sent Landlord a message saying that the freezer was broken. He called me back and asked if we could make it to the weekend at which time he would replace the fridge. I naively said yes.

The next morning Boyfriend picked up a less-than-cold container of ham soup from the fridge and brought it with him for lunch. It didn't taste or smell right so he disposed of it.

The next morning we enjoyed bowls of cereal with sour milk.

The fridge had gone too.

Landlord came over (while we had company...sigh) with a 'new' fridge for us. Where he got this thing from is beyond me, my best guesses are: the side of the road, or an old sushi restaurant.

Inside the freezer there was black and grey mold, inside the fridge: half an eggshell pasted to an egg holder, and a variety of greenery crumbs.

The entire thing reeked of fish.

I busted out my new Lysol Multi-Spray-Cleaner-TakeITBEYOTCH! and spritzed every possible surface of the fridge. Boyfriend began scrubbing drawers and shelves in the sink.

It still smells. And it's awful. It makes everything it comes into contact with reek.

Now it smells like a giant fish was poisoned with Lysol, died, and then rotted in my fridge.



P.S. Dear Shadow Lurkers,
It would be super awesome if you could follow me publicly. My fragile little ego would love some inflation... or even justification... a high five?


jedi starrunner said...

Sometimes I hate how much we rely on technology.(and yes, I'm lumping fridges and freezers in with 'technology'). I have a mini deep freezer in my bedroom (currently renting a room in a house... starving student... I know, it sucks) and the temperature control dial is on the bottom corner on the outside.

I was cleaning my room the other day and moving things around. I'm pretty sure something rubbed the dial the wrong way.... something got messed up. All of the food on the top shelf/basket thing got freezerburnt from the freezer warming up a bit and then cooling back down. This has never happened before. And I think I fixed it by mucking around with the dial. Everything has been fine since. HOWEVER. In the process, that freezerburnt food got tossed.

I hate throwing food away, but certain things just can't be saved from freezerburn..... One of those things happens to be bread. Gluten-free bread. $7.50/loaf. *sigh* I'm glad I only lost half a loaf (and a few other items)... however... as previously stated: starving student.

f*cking technology.

dys·func·tion said...

@jedi starrunner: That sucks! Gluten-free bread is so expensive. :( I hate when stuff like that happens. I'm so absent minded/clumsy/...oh boy...there goes another thought... I always assume it is me first.


Splat! Stop touching the keyboard while I type!!!

jedi starrunner said...


It does suck. Lots. At least mine doesn't smell like sushi. Tamper with the fridge and tell Landlord it too is 'broken'? Demand a *new* new one? Ugh. Stressful.

Anonymous said...

I'll stay in the shadows kid!

dys·func·tion said...

@jedi starrunner: I've considered it! Unfortunately I align 'good' and can't make myself do it... but I'll be projecting broken thoughts ALL OVER this fridge.

@Anonymous: But c'mon! You could create an account and give yourself the name "Boss". It would be epic.