Like a ghost, or a beast, my depression waits until I am not prepared and then it strikes.
The number of times I have slept through the night since Splat was born: one. One time. I am sleep deprived.
Shake'n'Bake got the flu at her dad's house a week or so ago. She then gave it to Splat. Vomitting, diarrhea, each symptom outlasting and outdoing the last. Shake'n'Bake then got a massive ear infection, and a chest cold - that she also passed on to Splat.
I have been sick for the past three weeks now. A draining, lifeless sick that has consumed my entire being. I wanted to post something. I knew that I should post something, even a simple "Sick. More later," but nothing would come. I would check my dashboard, and just stare.
"New Post" seemed "Too Ridiculous" to even try, so I didn't.
I am sleep deprived and sick, and my depression attacked when I was weak.
Luckily for me, my depression is sick too.
This general lack of energy has caused my depression to become more of a heavy fog. Cycling through my days in a blind rut, I have been watching breakfasts become lunches, a.m. roll into p.m., and Mondays become Tuesdays become Fridays become...is it Monday yet?
I have barely lifted a finger for housework. Laundry was a necessity (it almost killed me) and yesterday the groceries had to be purchased so we would not starve, but I'm running on empty. Boyfriend had his reading week from school and he got to wash dishes the entire time.
I want to post. I want to post humorous or insightful things that everyone will enjoy. I want to brighten someone's day; share my creativity; or brag about the awesomeness of my family in general, and for the past while I haven't been able to sit at my computer to do any of it.
I can't wait for the weather to warm up. As it does, the girls and I will be able to go out for walks again, and I will be able to overcome this cabin fever I've been having.
We've enrolled Shake'n'Bake in a gymnastics class for wee ones, and I am hoping that getting out more will benefit all of us.
This past year has been the best for my depression that it has even been, but it lurks. It lurks and it waits for winter to come and confine me, and the flu to come and weaken me, and the babies to come and deprive me of sleep... then it strikes.