dys·func·tion /dɪsˈfʌŋkʃən/ [dis-fuhngk-shuhn]–noun
1. Medicine/Medical . malfunctioning, as of an organ or structure of the body. 2. any malfunctioning part or element: the dysfunctions of the country's economy. 3. Sociology . a consequence of a social practice or behavior pattern that undermines the stability of a social system.

Saturday, February 26, 2011

My Side of the Bed

Boyfriend and I have respective 'sides' of the bed.

Mostly because I am a creature of habit, and I don't like to share my pillows (they're fluffier than his).

My side of the bed is beside my rocking chair, nearest the girls' bedroom (for easy nighttime feeding access), and fluffier than his side.

Every night we cuddle. Now after a certain amount of time in a relationship, there is a good chance that this will wear off, and realistically we almost never wake up cuddling, but every night when we wiggle under the sheets we mash ourselves together in one big warm ball of love.

At some point during the night my hips begin to ache, Boyfriend begins to snore, or my ribs are not up for the particular positions required to cuddle, and we move. Perhaps our backs face each other as we snooze towards our respective walls; maybe one of us has chosen the face down position, leaving the other one to flounder alone in their half; but the contact is still there.

I still can feel his warmth, hear his breathing, brush his arm with mine, or even just notice the slight slope towards his body. And it is comforting.

This is why sleeping alone now sucks.

This is also why it is so special that he tucks me in when he leaves in the morning. Most days he is up before everyone else and out the door for his commute to school. Before Splat was born I would wake up with him and we would have breakfast together, but this lack of sleep has turned me into a nasty zombie and I need my sleep. But every morning that he wakes up before the rest of us, and dresses in the light of his cellphone (so not to disturb me), he takes his warm patch of comforter and tucks it in around me - to imitate his body.

When he is dressed, fed, and otherwise prepared for the day, he comes back in to give me a kiss goodbye. I only wake as much as is necessary for a kiss and a "Have a good day," before he leaves and I can go back to sleep. As soon as I hear the door lock I roll onto his side of the bed and bury my face in his pillow. A few deep breaths into the pillow that smells like him, and I'm rocketed back to LaLaLand.

His pillow doesn't reek of cologne, and it doesn't smell like shampoo. It smells like him. Not body odour, no fake chemicals, but of the very intimate scent that lingers after many nights worth of sleep.

My side of the bed may be closer to the girls' bedroom, and the bathroom; it may be fluffier and near the heater; it may be farther from the dirty laundry and the wall; but Boyfriend's side smells like him...

So it's better.


fif said...

I think that is so cute that he tries to make it seem like he's still there by putting his comforter there. That's adorable. :)

Chris and I cuddle still (unless we've been out drinking) but usually wake up in the morning with about 3 feet of space between us. Then we rejoin each other upon waking up.

ironman1987 said...

I can only imagine.

jedi starrunner said...

When I was a kid I used to go and lay in my brother's bed when he wasn't home because the pillows smelled like him and I missed him.

My bed is too small and empty to have any designated sides :( jealous.

dys·func·tion said...

@fif: I think that the same general sentiment is there. I'm just glad that we make the effort every night to snuggle with each other.

@ironman1987: Your cuddler is out there waiting for you to start your next chapter of life.

@jedi starrunner: That's adorable! And maybe it's not *your* bed that's meant to be divided into sides...