|This isn't my door, but it is so close in quality that I had to use it.|
This leaves about an inch and a half of a gap that is open to the world outside and all of its creepy crawlies.
I’ve been having a problem with couch beetles. Since Boyfriend had bought me an air conditioner (WIN!) I no longer had the need to leave my main door open to get a breeze, but these crafty little buggers are finding another way in. Landlord says that he leaves his door open and they are probably coming up through the vents.
The very first one I found on my back while I was sitting on the couch.
Let me emphasize that.
One night I was attacked by something much fiercer.
It must have come in after I had said my farewells to Boyfriend who was on his way to work the night shift at his job.
The following are the real emails I sent to him.
I am writing to you with a sad face today.
I am being attacked by a vicious home-invading bug.
His name is Gzznt.
I'm fairly certain he's a cricket.
Either way, he was all nasty-fly-around-and-scare-me-late-at-night and then he's disappeared before I could mash him.
I think he is hiding in the curtains closest to the door, and when I tried to scare him out (so I could mash him) by smacking the curtain with a dish towel, he angrily screamed GZZNT! which I'm fairly certain was the sound of his nasty wings bouncing off of the plastic on the window.
The sound made me want to throw up.
So I pulled out the couch and tried to pull/shake the curtains (once again to lure him out for mashing) and I didn't succeed. I am not going to be able to sleep tonight for fear the Gzznt will crawl into bed with me while I am sleeping. Maybe up my nose, into my ear, or clamber into my open and drooling mouth.
What if he attacks my kids?!
What kind of a mother would I be if I went to sleep all willy nilly and left my poor unassuming two year old to fend for herself against a creature that is SO fearsome that it has it's own name!?!?!
Not a very good one.
And so, I will be up. Up and awake. In the hopes that Gzznt shows himself to me again, and that *this* time I don't f it up and manage to mash him.
Followed twenty minutes later by:
I am victorious!
Gzznt tried to sneak up on me.
Somehow he managed to cross the room despite my acute bug paranoia.
He was lurking on the wall above the microwave when my spidey-senses went off.
"Look to the left!" They screamed.
So I did, and there he was.
Gzznt is a cocky bastard though. He wasn't trying to blend in with crap on the wall, or hide behind light fixtures or the clock, nooooo, not Gzznt. He was spinning in a nasty nasty circle, flicking his legs and wings at me.
The he fell behind the microwave stand.
I moved the table, and the high chair, and I pulled out the microwave stand and I found him.
With his last breaths he had pulled himself with his one good remaining leg underneath the power bar.
I didn't even hesitate.
MASH! MASH! MASH!
Just to make sure.
Stop twitching Gzznt...
MASH! MASH! MASH!
Then I picked him up with a specially folded piece of masking tape and threw his nasty ass in the garbage can.
Yours in VICTORY!,
|This is the closest picture I could find.|
No, that is not my hand.
Not a flying hope in hell.